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Eyes Cloudy

trainbw

Sitting, leg bent, drink in hand, pensive.

watching the clouds drift on breeze silent

pondering the path ahead through cloudy eyes

that hold back the sadness of too many changes at once.

I was something once, someone, worthwhile

the who I am wrapped in being a mother, a wife

I could see my worth in those helped along the way

mother, helper, builder of things that will live beyond self.

Sitting leg bent, drink in hand, pensive,

eyes cloudy with sorrow that change comes

my being knowing it is natural, right, as ought to be

yet wishing to reject that reality and remain worthwhile.

This was who I am, all I wanted to be,

wife, mother, helper, friend, advocate, who I was

now a wife, perhaps friend, I knew change would come

children grow, groups change, friends walk away, such is life.

Sitting, leg bent, drink in hand, pensive

thoughts muddled by tears over what I miss

so time goes forward, in spite of wish that it stop

who will I be now that who I was lay beyond my reach?

Sitting, leg bent, drink in hand, pensive

mournful of the losses weighing heavily now

wishful that time had stood still and let me remain

what I was happiest being, wishing to know who I’ll be…

tomorrow.

Karen Quinn 2013

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